Sunday, December 16, 2012
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Life in a Magnet
I have a new magnet that I just
love. It shows a couple out of the 1950's. She's scraping off dirty
dinner dishes as she says to her husband, "That lobotomy really did
wonders for my morale...no more crazy feminist talk from me!" John thinks
it’s really funny, too. Some people just
give me blank or nonplussed looks when I show it or tell them about it. It's on
my refrigerator close to a prayer and some spiritual thoughts. I'm sure
that to some the sentiment on the magnet and the spiritual words are at odds.
To me, it expresses a lot about who I am.
I've always felt strongly about
women having the world as open to them as men. That doesn't mean I think
we're the same in every way. It's more about being heard and treated with
respect. Being patronized is very different from being respected.
John and I have always approached
our almost 29 year marriage as a team. We compromise or occasionally we
choose to give deference to each other out of love when it’s something
important to one of us. But it's usually small stuff when you look at the
big picture. The point is that neither of us rules the roost. It
makes having fun and laughing at ourselves so much easier. Relationships
where one of the spouses has all or most of the power disturb me. And
it's just as true when the woman is the one spouting all the rules. Where
is the balance in the relationship?
I don't believe God wants us to be
puppets on a string. Sometimes walking the spiritual path is hard if we
are true to how we are to act and treat others. But those choices need to
be freely made, not the result of an earthly authority figure saying that every
step in life is a series of black and
white rules to be followed. We were given consciences for a reason.
That means we need to learn, pray, think.
Guidance from those who have more learning or life experience can be
very helpful. But when I hear the
beep-beep-beep going off from the hierarchy, I know it’s time to go to my quiet
place to be still and listen.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
My husband John talked last night about the importance of human touch. Sadly, touch has sometimes come to mean an ugly thing. But we talked about the the kind of touch that connects and reconnects us to others. I'm on the introverted side, but I can't imagine what life is like for those so isolated that they have no one who shows them that the space they take up on this earth is important, even sacred.
I grew up in a family that rarely touched. It wasn't a question of love. I knew my parents loved me and both would have thrown themselves in front of a moving car to save me or any of the rest of my siblings. But friendly touches or hugs weren't something we exchanged. We had lively conversations and lots of stimulation for our brains. We also had fun. But it wasn't until I went to college and made lasting friendships that I found out hugs felt good.
John comes from a family of huggers and kissers. On our first vacation, I met people who kissed me on my cheek when we were introduced. All I could think was, "What is this kissy on the face business?"
I'm happy to report that with the example of John, I learned how wonderful touch feels. The great feel good hormones can last a long time. My brothers and sisters now hug. My Dad passed away almost 10 years ago, but even Mom is now used to our kisses.
Peace,
Therese
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Newbie
Hi there,
I'm a writer who rarely writes. Does that sound right? But whether the words in my heart come out on the page or not, they're still my words. But now it's time to use my voice. Interesting or not, I want to join the fray. I'm a person of faith but more interested in walking the walk than walking the dogma. Exchanging ideas and shining the light of day with a dash of humor is my style. Lively conversation and different opinions are great. But this a place of kindness, too - the mean-spirited can go somewhere else.
I have a husband who I love in ways there are no words for. That doesn't mean things are romantic all the time. We both like to be right. We drive each other crazy with our quirks. But at the end of the day, there's no one else I want in my corner . It helps that we both like to use disposable income for eating out, too. We've lived in the same house for 25 years and I still hope I never have to move again until they take me to the funeral home.
We also have a 24 year old son. He's a chemical engineer who does battery research. He loves having a life of his own and we are beyond happy that he found such a good job in this economy.
Time to say good night.
Therese
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